Even though most of the NGOs focusing on sexual violence , Project Alert inclusive, are almost unanimous that cases of mothers sexually abusing their children is a rare occurrence, The Nation’s findings reveal that examples abound.
Such is the case of Adesewa Adeoti (not real) name, who now lives her life in regret. Adeoti, a single mother and teacher in Lagos, who for years lived alone with his son, Michael, told this reporter how after being emotionally hurt in a relationship, resolved not to have anything to do with men. It however got to a stage, when her body began making demands of her and she inadvertently started making use of her seven-year old son to assuage her feelings. Looking back she said it was a journey she should never have started.
Said Adeoti, “It went on for years until he grew into a man and gained admission into a university. At this point, I had come to realise it was a misadventure and silently prayed that he found himself a girlfriend and forget about me. I wanted it all to stop, but my son was having none of it and refused to take a no for an answer. Sometimes, when I refused him, he would insist, overpower me, and since I could not shout, rape me. When I could not bear it any longer, I confided in my friend, who advised me to secure a school for him abroad. That’s how I was able to put an end to it, but still, he called me and rained abuses on me.”
‘Happily’ the whole drama is now a thing of the past, Adeoti said, since he has now found pleasure in other women, “but I hardly have the audacity to scold or try to correct him in relationship matters. You won’t believe it, the whole thing went on for 13 years.”
Funmi Ajasa, a journalist with a magazine in Lagos also spoke of a neighbour, a single mother, who unknown to the neighbours, was abusing her teenage son and having sex with him.
Said Ajasa, “We just noticed that the relationship and closeness to her son was strange. Aside that, she didn’t allow him mix, probably so that he didn’t start telling neighbours of his ‘exploits.’ Things however reached a head, when one day, the perpetrator’s younger sister, got angry after a quarrel and scuffle with her sister and spilled the whole secret. She told the whole world how her sister had been sleeping with her son for years and even got pregnant for him once.
“It was then that the neighbours understood the reason for the strange closeness of mother and son.”