Nokia 3310s were the greatest phones ever.
They were just the right size. They had ever-lasting batteries. They had a vigorous vibration.
It’s because of all those incredible features, they’re now apparently serving an alternative use: as dildos.
According to a tiny study of 100 Indian women by sex-positive group, Agents of Ishq, women are using their Nokia phones as a substitute for hard-to-find sex toys.
And obviously, it’s doing the rounds on the internet because we all want to believe that those nostalgic bits of technology gold are getting people off.
‘The old Nokia vibrating phone made several appearances on this survey!’ the group says.
‘We have no idea why the company is not the market leader after this!’
One woman surveyed told the collective: ‘A group of three of us decided to masturbate with the old Nokia phones to show a fourth how pleasurable masturbation can be.
‘We switched off the lights to reduce her discomfort and got into our beds. Only, when we switched on vibration, the screens lit up showing off our vaginas!’
What happened to the phones isn’t clear as they’re not waterproof – unlike today’s iPhone 7, which is undoubtedly a far more sophisticated tool.
The survey also claims that 54% of the women surveyed said they used domestic appliances to masturbate with.
That included vegetables, toothbrushes and bottles (sort of standard fodder), as well as beds (what?), pillows (how?) and sofas (WTF?).
Dependable dildos are apparently quite difficult to get hold of in India but if anyone knows how you can jerk off using a pillow, then please let us know.